


Always Will

by writeitininkorinblood



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8710201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeitininkorinblood/pseuds/writeitininkorinblood
Summary: One of the letters Cisco leaves behind before he travels to Earth-2 with Barry and Harry isn't to his family. Caitlin and Iris can't resist finding out what's inside.





	1. The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Set in Welcome to Earth-2 (season 2). I'm aware that Cisco hands over just one letter to Caitlin but let's pretend, for the sake of this fic, that he doesn't.
> 
> I've only watched the season through once so if there are inaccuracies then please let me know!

Caitlin picked up the small pile of letters on her desk almost absentmindedly. She’d promised Cisco she’d pass them on to his family, but she didn’t want to think about the possibility of him, Barry and Harry not coming back. They were all going to make it home in one piece, safe and alive, and everything would be fine. No one was ever going to need to read those letters. How did you even explain going on a potentially lethal trip to another Earth, anyway? They couldn’t have been easy to write.

Just as she was about to put them down, Caitlin realised there were three letters and not two. Cisco had said his parents and his brother. The first was addressed to _Mom and Dad_ and, sure enough, when Caitlin flicked over to the next one it was labelled _Dante._ So who was the third? Cisco didn’t have any other siblings, so maybe an extended relative?

When she turned to the last letter, she found a very familiar name staring back at her – one she didn’t think she’d ever see again.

“Hey, what’s that?” Iris asked, walking over when she saw the look of extreme shock on Caitlin’s face. Something wasn’t right – even less right than things usually were around S.T.A.R. Labs.

Struggling to explain what she didn’t understand, Caitlin first went for the obvious.

“Cisco asked me to give these letters to his family if... if he didn’t make it back,” she said, unable to say the word ‘died’. No one was going to die. Barry and Cisco were almost her brothers, and Harry was a friend she didn’t want to lose.

“They’ll be back,” Iris promised, sounding far more convinced than she really was. She didn’t want to think about the possibility of Barry not coming home to her and Joe. Even if it was false hope she was feeling, she’d rather that than conviction in their death.

“No, I know,” Caitlin said quickly, forcing a smile. Then she turned back to the puzzle in front of her. “It’s just… There’s a letter here for ‘Hartley’. I think it’s Hartley Rathaway. He used to-”

Iris cut her off, wanting to get past unnecessary explanations.

“I know. Barry caught me up. There’s no reason Cisco should be writing to him though, right?” she asked, aware there could be something Barry had just neglected to tell her. Maybe Cisco and Hartley had been friends.

But Caitlin shook her head resolutely. The two guys got on each others’ nerves and made purposeful digs at each other whenever they were in the same room. Cisco hadn’t exactly seemed too upset when he’d had to lock Hartley up in the pipeline.

“Not that I know of,” she said, her voice full in equal measure of confusion and an urge to investigate.

She turned the envelope over and found that it hadn’t been properly sealed: the flap just tucked in. It would be so easy to surreptitiously read the letter and replace it without anyone needing to know. Cisco would get it handed back in exactly the state he left it.

Caitlin’s train of thought was evident and Iris couldn’t help a tiny mischievous smile despite the stressful situation they were all in.

“Should we…?” she trailed off, not wanting to be the one to put the idea out there in the open.

“We shouldn’t…” Caitlin reasoned, but she shared Iris’ smile.

Rolling her eyes, Iris gave up on tact.

“But we’re going to, right?” She asked, pulling up a chair and sitting beside Caitlin, eagerly gesturing to the letter. If Cisco was writing to someone who was essentially the enemy, there had to be a story there. The reporter in Iris was desperate to investigate, even if whatever they found out was never going to become an article.

The scientist in Caitlin was equally eager to find out what was going on.  
“Yes. We’re going to,” she said, untucking the envelope flap, sliding out the folded piece of paper and holding it up so they could both read it.

 

_Hart,_

_If you’re reading this, then something bad happened. I’m probably dead. And if I’m not dead then I’m on another Earth. Earth-2 to be exact. It’s a long story and I don’t really have time to explain right now because I’m about to go all Doctor Who. I gave some letters to Caitlin to pass on, and this was one of them. Hopefully it gets to you, if she can track you down. Sorry if she asked too many questions. You know I haven’t told them anything._

_So, yeah, dead. Sorry, I guess? I’m sure I tried really hard not to get killed or, by my luck, run over by a fancy Earth-2 car because they drive on the other side of the road there or something. I’ll miss you. Well, I’ll be dead so I won’t be able to miss you. But if I’m not dead and I’m just stranded on Earth-2 then I’ll definitely miss you. ~~Maybe I’ll find your doppelgänger there and fool around with him for old time’s sake.~~ No. Scratch that. That wouldn’t feel right at all._

_There’s so much to explain and I really don’t have time so please forgive me that this is short. I’m really going to miss you. You’re an asshole, but you know I love you. I’ll miss kissing you and sleeping next to you and everything else…_

_I know we don’t exactly have what Caitlin and Ronnie had (can you imagine us getting married? Me neither) but I saw what his death did to her and it sucked. So move on, Hartley. Please. I’m sure you probably will anyway but just in case you needed to hear it._

_Okay Harry is yelling at me that we need to go and I don’t want him to throw any more of my things, so I really do have to go._

_Love you, Hart. Always will. May the force be with you._

_Yours,_

_Cisco_


	2. The Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin talks to Cisco about the letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know she was way more upset in the show after what happened to Jay but that didn't really fit with this story so let's pretend she knew about the whole Zoom thing on some level so she couldn't bring herself to be particularly sad...? Suspend your disbelief.

Cisco had almost forgotten about the goodbye letters he’d written by the time they made it back to Earth-1. A lot had happened and he was too preoccupied with still being alive at the end of it all to consider how close to dying he’d come.

It took a few days before Caitlin had recovered from the immediate shock of Jay’s death enough to talk to Cisco about Hartley. She couldn’t wrap her head around it: from the sound of the letter they seemed to be dating, but Cisco had never so much as mentioned Hartley’s name. He’d never even given the slightest indication that he might be interested in other guys and, whilst Caitlin wasn’t angry or disappointed, she _was_ confused. Collecting up the small stack of envelopes, she made her way over to Cisco’s desk and cleared her throat.

“Hey,” he said, looking up and giving her a reassuring smile. They all knew she was still fragile, and he never wanted to see her feel so alone that she went the way of Killer Frost. “Everything okay?”

“Thought I’d return these,” she said, holding up the letters but not handing them over. When he reached for them, after the flicker of confusion in his eyes had given way to realisation, she pulled them back just a little. If he took them and shoved them in a drawer she wouldn’t be able to prove the addressees.

“Cisco… One of these letters is to Hartley…” she began, nervous. There was no telling exactly what she might be trying to uncover.

Cisco’s heart skipped several beats, terrified. He’d hidden Hartley’s letter at the bottom of the pile, hoping Caitlin would be too distracted to rummage through. In an ideal world he wouldn’t have used Hartley’s real name at all but if the worst did happen then he wanted her to know who she had to get the letter to. He would have wanted to know.

“You didn’t open it, right?” Cisco asked, laughing nervously. When Caitlin flinched, he turned serious, rising uncertainly to his feet. “Tell me you didn’t open it…”

He wasn’t ready for this. It wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t fair on Hartley either – he wanted to keep their relationship in the dark just as much.

“When I saw his name… I was just worried,” Caitlin said, trying to explain. They’d had enough imposters and double-crossing to last them a lifetime and, although she had no reason to suspect Cisco of anything, it seemed foolish to be so sure of herself.

Cisco was trembling, fear and anger and hurt making it too much to stay still. He guessed this was how Barry felt when he had to run out of town and yell into the abyss somewhere, but super speed out of this situation wasn’t an option and Cisco couldn’t see how vibing was going to help.

“You had no right!” He seethed, clenching his hands into fists to try and control some of the tension in his body. He’d never felt more betrayed. It was one thing to see the name on the envelope and wonder, but to open it and read it was another level of invasive entirely. “Caitlin, that’s… Private. It’s private,” he hissed, uncomfortable and awkward.

When he realised she was still holding the letters he snatched them out of her hands and flicked through them until he found Hartley’s, dropping the others on his desk and staring down at the name looking up him.  He hadn’t seen Hartley since he’d gotten back; there hadn’t really been much time. The reminder of who he’d left behind when he’d gone to Earth-2, and what he’d been risking if he got stuck there, was painful and he suddenly very much wanted to be at Hartley’s apartment, curled up beside him on the sofa whilst they rewatched the Harry Potter films and ate too many snacks. He wanted Hartley to mumble sleepily in his ear – Spanish when he wanted to be sweet and Latin when he wanted to be infuriating; Cisco would happily listen to either by this point. He wanted 24 hours when the world – _every_ world – wasn’t in danger and he could spare himself the day to be around Hartley. They all deserved a break.

Cisco slumped back into his chair, defeated. His secret wasn’t much of a secret anymore. Nothing stayed quiet for long around Team Flash.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caitlin asked gently, a little hurt. He was like a brother to her and she would have hoped he’d be able to tell her he’d found someone special. Even if that person was a man. And a Hartley Rathaway.

Looking around Cisco was surprised and relieved to find the rest of the lab empty. It wasn’t often there was no one else around to listen to your private conversations, so he figured it made sense to make the most of it.

Putting on a mocking tone, he tried to imagine how that conversation would go.

“ _’I’m sleeping with the enemy. And by enemy I mean Hartley Rathaway, that guy that we all kind of used to hate. So yeah, also I’m gay.’_ Yeah, that would have gone down so well,” he snorted, turning away to hide the tears that were gathering at the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t expected this to be so hard. Why did it even matter what anyone else, even Caitlin, thought?

Sensing this was far more difficult for Cisco than it was for her, Caitlin sat carefully on the edge of his desk and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“We wouldn’t have judged you. None of us,” she insisted. People who were fine with meta-humans were going to be absolutely fine with homosexuality, surely. If you could cope with super speed and vision of the future, nothing else could be a shock. Not to mention this was Cisco. There was very little he could do that would make Caitlin judge him.

But he just shrugged, unconvinced.

“Maybe not about the gay thing, sure,” he mumbled. “But the Hartley thing? That’s different.”

“Cisco-” Caitlin tried, but she was quickly cut off.

“I’m in love with him, Caitlin,” Cisco said bluntly. He’d been keeping the words to himself, with the exception of whispering them to Hartley when he was asleep; it felt good to finally get them out. “The painful, too-much kind of love that I can’t make go away no matter how hard I try. So don’t tell me to stop because it _doesn’t_ work. I wanted to, and eventually I had to give up.”

Sometimes it was hard to love Hartley Rathaway, but it was even harder to stop. Cisco didn’t _want_ to feel so fond for someone he’d once had so much contempt for, but it didn’t feel like a choice.

“How long…?” Caitlin asked, before trailing off. How long had they been sleeping together? That was none of her business. How long had they been dating? Were they even really dating?

Cisco’s resulting smile was rueful. That wasn’t the easiest question to answer. They’d been a lot of different things at a lot of different times.

“We had a… thing when he used to work here,” he said, fighting a blush. “And then when he turned up last year, after he’d gotten away – which I _swear_ wasn’t on purpose, I ran into him stood outside the building one day. I was about to call you or Barry or Dr Wells, but… We started talking and he apologised. He actually _apologised_ for leaving and for some of what he’d said. So we… I went home with him. And it’s been an on/off thing since then.”

It was clear from the way he smiled and laced his fingers together as he spoke that he was fond of the memories and Caitlin couldn’t argue with that. She wanted Cisco happy; that was enough. But Hartley wasn’t good. He’d tried to screw them over a little too gleefully and that wasn’t something she could just forgive.

“You can’t tell him S.T.A.R. Labs’ secrets, Cisco. This,” she gestured to the letter he was clutching protectively, “isn’t okay.”

This could all be a ploy to get information from Cisco and Caitlin didn’t want to see how upset he’d be if found out the man he liked just wanted to use him.  
“I don’t!” Cisco protested, defensive. “Don’t you get it: I don’t tell him anything about what goes on here. That’s why I had to write the letter. I wouldn’t tell him about Earth-2 for no reason, but I thought it would be okay to let him know why I died, if it happened. I don’t tell him anything about what Barry can do now, and he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t even know I have powers. This isn’t something he’s involved in to get information about S.T.A.R. Labs.”

Cisco was certain. He understood what Caitlin was trying to protect him from, but it wasn’t like that. Hartley cared for him. He could feel it in his kisses and his touches, in the way he said ‘good morning’ like he was happy that Cisco was the first thing he was seeing. Even in the way they argued and sniped at each other, because Hartley would always come back to him even after storming out. It wasn’t a ruse. It was too involved and too invested to be a ruse.

“You can’t know that, Cisco,” Caitlin said patiently.

“Yes, I can. I do know that. We’ve been… involved longer than Barry has even been The Flash,” Cisco reasoned. When they’d first fooled around Cisco hadn’t even known he was not-quite-straight, and the particle accelerator had still been intact. Even Hartley couldn’t have planned anything that went back that far.

Caitlin could tell she wasn’t getting anywhere. Cisco knew his relationship – or whatever it was – better than she did and she wasn’t in a position to argue with him.

“Does anyone know?” she asked, wondering if she was one of the last to find out.

Cisco shook his head. He’d known people would be sceptical of Hartley’s intentions, exactly like Caitlin was, so it had seemed far more sensible to keep quiet.

“You’re the first. And the only, please,” he implored. When she flinched it became obvious that the number of people who knew about everything was up to at least four. “Who?” he groaned.

“Iris,” Caitlin admitted sheepishly. “But she won’t tell anyone either!” she insisted.

Cisco buried his head in his hands, letting the envelope fall into his lap. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of.

“Yes she will. One of you will let it slip and then Barry will know and get mad, and Joe and Harry and everyone else. It’ll end up just like every other secret anyone has in this group: dissected and analysed public knowledge,” he complained.

Nothing was sacred in Team Flash. He could already hear the ‘he’s just using you’ and ‘you have to stop seeing him’ speeches. None of it sounded fun, especially since he was going to ignore all of it anyway.

“No. _No,_ Cisco. I promise you it won’t. We were wrong to read the letter, and I’m so sorry, but we won’t tell anyone,” Caitlin said, genuinely apologetic. She was definitely going to keep an eye on Cisco to check he was alright, but she wasn’t going to try and tell him what to do. If he was happy and safe then that was enough, even if it was Hartley who made him happy.

Cisco looked up at her, unsure that what she was saying had any truth to it, but she pulled him close for a quick hug before miming zipping her lips – probably in an attempt to make him laugh more that anything else – and left him alone. As soon as her back was turned, he grabbed Hartley’s letter and stuffed it in his bag. He’d throw it out when he was home, where there were no more sets of prying eyes to read what didn’t belong to them. And then he got out his phone.

Cisco knew he was listed as ‘Cisquito’ in Hartley’s phone, a concept that never failed to make him smile, but Hartley didn’t have friends who could theoretically grab his phone and see who he was texting and then hand it back without him knowing. Cisco’s contact list had to be a little more discreet. ‘H’ or “R’ seemed too obvious, ‘Piper’ was the same. Eventually he’d settled on ‘L’, which he was constantly denying to himself was because it stood for ‘love’, but it did. Although he also pretty fond of the Death Note connection, which had proved a pretty good alibi when Barry had once read the name over his shoulder at Jitters: ‘just a friend who likes manga.’

Still a little shaken from being outed to once of his closest friends, not to mention the residual shock from everything that happened on Earth-2, Cisco texted Hartley, knowing he’d be able to help him forget.

 

**Can I come over? Tonight.**

It was only a few seconds before he got a reply, no questions asked.

 

**Sure.**


	3. The Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hartley finds the letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Hartley finding the letter in this is similar to how Dante finds the one addressed to him in the show, but please just humour me.  
> I also don't remember if Hartley knows Barry is the Flash but, let's be honest, Cisco can't keep a secret to save his life so he'd probably accidentally let it slip anyway.  
> Disclaimer: I do not speak Spanish. All translations (in end notes) are provided by google translate so they're probably wrong.

Cisco wanted to spend the evening resolutely pretending everything wasn’t happening. There was no Zoom. There was no Earth-2. There was no heartbroken Caitlin or stressed out team at S.T.A.R. Labs. There was just him and old Doctor Who reruns and Hartley, who was patiently putting up with his idiosyncrasies without asking questions. He knew he wasn’t allowed to know about what Cisco did for Team Flash, and he wasn’t going to ask only to put him in an awkward position. He just let Cisco eat him out of house and home, curl into a ball against his side, and commandeer his TV. Because that’s what you did when you loved someone.

Usually Cisco fell asleep pretty quickly when they watched TV together, but this time he didn’t so much as blink sleepily, staring at the screen with determined intent. Something was going on, that much was clear, and Hartley was desperate to ask. He wanted to try and help, but there was no way the rest of Team Flash was ever going to let that happen even if they knew he was involved with their engineer. Still, if Cisco was shaken by something then it had to be bad.

On his way to the kitchen to scavenge for more popcorn, Hartley caught sight of a piece of paper sticking out of Cisco’s backpack and, before he knew was he was doing, he was sneaking over to it. He shouldn’t pry, he knew that. But whatever was happening was clearly worse than the usual metahuman problems and he couldn’t help but pull the paper from the bag in the hope that it had some answers. But it wasn’t a piece of paper – it was an envelope. With his name on. Curious and confused, he slid out the letter inside and began to read.

***

“Have you gone or are you going?” Hartley demanded, striding back into the living room and holding out the letter so Cisco knew what he was talking about.

There was no date anywhere on the envelope or the letter and Hartley was terrified that this was goodbye. That the reason Cisco wanted to come over and the reason he was so determined not to fall asleep was because he wanted to spend one last night with Hartley before he had to go off on some mission that sounded lethal.

“Hartley, I-” Cisco sighed, aware that taking the envelope with Hartley’s name on to his apartment had been asking for trouble. He needed to explain, but he didn’t know what he should say. He knew that Hartley wasn’t going to double-cross him and use any information against Team Flash, but he’d promised Caitlin he wouldn’t say anything. And the more Hartley knew, the more danger he was probably in. Cisco just needed time to come to a reasonable explanation that protected everyone involved, including an explanation of why he’d thought it was a good idea to say ‘ _I love you_ ’ for the first time in a letter, but Hartley didn’t seem to want to give him time to think.

“ _Have you gone or are you going_?” he repeated, his worry turning to frustration.

That, Cisco could answer. Caitlin couldn’t deny that Hartley deserved to know he was safe(ish) for the foreseeable future.

“I’ve gone. It’s fine,” he said gently, reaching out to rest a hand on Hartley’s wrist.

Jerking away from Cisco’s touch and clenching all the muscles in his fingers to stop them shaking, Hartley dropped down on the opposite end of the sofa, keeping a distance between them. Part of him wanted to pull him close and never let go, but if he did that then they weren’t going to have this conversation and, for the sake of his own sanity, they needed to talk.

“And you’re alright?” he said, needing it confirmed. Cisco didn’t look hurt but it wasn’t like he couldn’t be hiding something.

Rolling his eyes, Cisco couldn’t resist a sarcastic quip.

“No, Hart, I’m dead,” he drawled, shrugging. Obviously he was okay.

It was the kind of joke Hartley would usually make himself, but this seemed different. Cisco was being far too flippant about what had apparently, according to the letter, happened.

“Don’t joke. Don’t you dare. You could have _died_ ,” he growled. Cisco wasn’t disposable and Hartley didn’t want to imagine the world without him, as infuriating and argumentative as he could get.

Sensing that Hartley was a volatile mix of scared, angry and shocked, Cisco slowly reached out a hand to rest it on his leg, glad when he didn’t pull away again. Rubbing small circles on the inside of Hartley’s knee with his thumb, Cisco tried to keep his voice calm and reassuring.

“But I didn’t,” he reasoned. “And I do plenty that could get me killed.”

That was a risk. It was either going to make Hartley see that Cisco’s trip to an alternate universe wasn’t as out of the ordinary as he was making it out to be, or it was going to make him aware that he should be panicking about whether Cisco would make it to the end of the day in one piece on more of a regular basis. Luckily it seemed to pay off.

“I don’t usually get a letter about it,” Hartley grumbled, still uncomfortable with the news but less heated about it.

He reached out and tugged on Cisco’s sleeve, wanting him closer without having to ask. Despite rolling his eyes at his lack of inclination to beg, Cisco was happy to comply, shuffling over to him and submitting gratefully to a hug.

“Well usually you’d see it on the news but we don’t exactly get Earth-2 news here,” he explained, only half joking, against the fabric of Hartley’s shirt.

Not knowing had to be the worst. If S.T.A.R. Labs on Earth-1 was to blow up, or if someone was to kidnap all of Team Flash and hold them hostage, Hartley would know about it in minutes. Most of the time Cisco would be able to send a text just before whatever bad thing happened, if he got warning. One last goodbye phonecall; which, if Caitlin and Barry were by his side, would be to Hartley. But Earth-2 didn’t have cell phone reception, at least not that worked with his phone, and there was no way to get a message back. From Hartley’s perspective Cisco would simply have disappeared, with no way to find out what happened to him. That wasn’t what Cisco had wanted.

Hartley didn’t push the matter further. He kissed Cisco’s forehead, barely aware he was doing it, and went silent for a long moment.

“You were really on another Earth?” he asked, eventually. The world of metahumans had introduced hundreds of insane ideas, but this one was definitely near the top of the list.

“Yeah,” Cisco mumbled, unable to resist a small smile. It was really quite cool, when you put it like that.

Hartley pulled the letter, half-crumpled and forgotten as he’d pulled Cisco close, out from under his leg and scanned it through to the point that had stuck in his head. It was crossed out but only hurriedly, so he could easily read the text underneath the rough lines.

“Did you see my doppelgänger?” he asked, wondering what Earth-2 Hartley Rathaway would be like.

He felt Cisco shake his head.

“No,” he said. “Saw mine, though. That was weird.”

Reverb wasn’t something Cisco wanted to discuss. Seeing himself – or not himself but close enough – die was a unique experience that he wasn’t sure he’d ever entirely recover from. And seeing himself evil was a bit of a jolt that worried him, but he had friends that were like a family and he had Hartley; he knew he wasn’t turning to the dark side any time soon.

Hartley knew there was a story there, but he could also tell that Cisco wasn’t ready to talk about it. So he resisted the urge to ask and changed the subject just subtly enough that it wasn’t too obvious.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were going to _another Earth_ ,” he complained, poking Cisco in the shoulder gently. That sounded like something you should let the person you spent a few nights a week sleeping beside know.

“They wouldn’t let me,” Cisco said, yawning and burying his face into the fabric of the sleeve of Hartley’s t-shirt.

He’d wanted to tell Hartley before they left but that had never seemed like an option. Who found out about Team Flash business was usually put to vote, even if Barry tended ignore the general consensus, and there was no way Hartley would pass.

Hartley was happy to see that Cisco was getting tired – it meant he wasn’t thinking so much about whatever it was exactly that was bothering him. He was distracted enough that it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility for him to get some rest. But they weren’t quite done talking.

“You asked?” Hartley said, wondering if Cisco had even introduced the idea to Team Flash of him having a… someone to tell things to.

“No, but you know they wouldn’t have. Caitlin was mad I even wrote the letter,” Cisco sighed. He wanted them to accept Hartley. He wanted them to like Hartley. Iris had become part of their group, invited for Christmas and to S.T.A.R. Labs. Maybe Cisco never quite expected that, but there had to be a middle ground and he wanted to find it.

“Oh, so Caitlin knows now?” Hartley asked, surprised. That was news.

Cisco wriggled back a little, so he could rest his forearms on Hartley’s chest and look down at him.

“Yeah. Sorry,” he winced. “I gave her the letters to pass on if I never came back, and she read the one with your name on it.”

Hartley just scowled. That was his letter and he didn’t like the idea of someone getting to read it before him; Cisco said some private stuff. He wasn’t going to bring up the confession of love because it really didn’t seem like Cisco needed anything else to deal with at once, but it was definitely something that he would have wanted to read before anyone else did.

“Reading someone else’s post is illegal,” he grumbled.

Cisco could tell what was bothering him and he couldn’t help a smirk.

“Technically I don’t think it’s post,” he laughed, although he couldn’t deny that he’d rather Caitlin hadn’t been the first to hear he was in love.

He moved his weight off Hartley’s chest and slumped back down, pressing a kiss to his neck.

Hartley didn’t have anything to say to that so, for once, he bit his tongue and let silence settle over them. He was still half embracing Cisco so he tightened his hold and came to the realisation that they had come dangerously close – and he wasn’t even sure how close – to that never happening again.

“You thought you were going to die and you didn’t tell me,” he said suddenly, drawing a groan from Cisco.

Interrupted from his attempts to drift off into something resembling sleep, he really didn’t want to have this conversation now. But Hartley wasn’t giving him much of an option.

“I didn’t think I-” Cisco started, but he was quickly cut off.

“Then why write the letter?” Hartley said, clearly thinking he’d managed to find the loophole that proved his point.

The bad thing was that Hartley was right. Not coming back had been a very real possibility, be that because they might die or get stuck on Earth-2. Cisco just didn’t want to admit that.

“Just in case,” he said, not quite lying but not admitting the whole truth either.

Hartley wasn’t buying any of it. He nudged Cisco up, making him sit and look at him and ignoring the death glare that he got for disrupting him. But that was serious and he wanted to make his point.

“No more suicide missions,” he demanded. When he just got an eye roll in return he shook his head, trying again. “No, Cisco, I’m serious. Your life is just as important as anyone else’s and you can’t keep risking it like that.”

“I’m part of a superhero team, Hart,” Cisco tried to reason. They spent a lot of their time getting into trouble that could conceivably end in less than ideal situations, but so far they’d made it out alive.

Jay’s death suddenly flashed before his eyes and he winced. Maybe not everyone.

Hartley caught the reaction and got a little gentler, even if he didn’t have the full story of what had happened.

“You’re also part of a relationship and your boyfriend cares if you live until tomorrow or not,” he said softly, using a voice he only ever spoke in when it was just Cisco around.

Except he hadn’t quite thought the wording through.

Cisco blinked at him, caught off guard.

“Boyfriend?” he repeated tentatively.

That wasn’t a word they had used before. But then again neither of them had gone near ‘ _I love you_ ’ before and yet Cisco had already come out with that one. Clearly him going to another earth had been good for their relationship.

“Shut up,” Hartley complained, wrinkling his nose and wishing he could take the word back.

“You’ve never-” Cisco began, forcing himself not to stutter.

“Cisco, drop it,” Hartley growled, until Cisco held up his hands and surrendered the topic for the present. It was obvious that Hartley couldn’t stop Cisco from trying to help Central City (apparently on any Earth), so he sighed and tried a different angle. “Just tell me where you’re going in the future. I’m not trying to be creepy or controlling; I don’t mean tell me every time you’re going to Jitters or whenever you’re off to fight yet another metahuman. But other Earths? I’d like a heads up so I know when to worry.”

It was more emotion than Hartley usually chose to show, even in front of Cisco, but he just really didn’t want his… boyfriend, apparently, to die.

“Oh so you don’t worry when I go up against Weather Wizard or Captain Cold or Girder?” Cisco teased, raising an eyebrow.

“No. I know you can handle yourself,” Hartley said, before reconsidering and smirking. “And it helps that you’re usually at S.T.A.R. Labs and Allen’s doing the fighting.”

Cisco glared but he had to admit that he rather liked his role – it meant that he could watch Barry doing all the physical work whilst guiding him from the comfort of a desk with takeout and some spare parts to tinker away with to see what new gadgets he could come up with. Although he wasn't completely averse to trying out his new vibe powers some more. Which he should probably tell Hartley about. Eventually.

“Siempre vuelve a mí. Por favor,” Hartley said suddenly, switching to Spanish because he knew Cisco would understand but it didn’t feel quite as vulnerable.

Cisco’s heart melted a little from the affection, and the fact that Hartley had actually said please.

“Por todo el tiempo que pueda,” he promised, not willing to make any more permanent assurances that he couldn’t be certain he would be able to keep.

Hartley nodded; that was enough. He wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore, but he didn’t want to go back to Doctor Who either. Crawling to his knees and gently pushing Cisco back against the arm of the sofa, Hartley licked his bottom lip and moved closer until his mouth was just centimeters from Cisco’s. It had been too long since they’d done this and Cisco didn’t want to be teased. He pushed up and closer the gap, wrapping his arms around Hartley’s neck and pulling him closer. He’d had enough of stress and death risks and saving the world for a while. He just wanted to kiss his _boyfriend_ and forget it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translations:  
> Siempre vuelve a mí. Por favor - Just always come back to me. Please.  
> Por todo el tiempo que pueda - For as long as I can.
> 
> I think that's this fic finished unless anyone had anything in particular they'd like to read. Thank you for all the kudos and the lovely comments - I think this might be the politest fandom I've ever written anything for!

**Author's Note:**

> Because Cisco would 100% put pop culture references in his goodbye letters. The dork.  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Chapter two is Caitlin confronting Cisco about the letter when he comes back.


End file.
